Hello, and welcome to Kasi Shan Therapy’s blog page! Below you’ll find a variety of different articles focusing on prenatal/postpartum mental health, trauma, and emotional well-being. I hope these words bring you comfort, insight, and strategies to support your healing experience.
This blog provides general information about mental health. It is intended for informational purposes only. The content provided on this website should not be considered as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult your therapist/care provider before making any health care decisions.
The following topics are discussed on this blog. Click on the tags below to jump to a specific topic:
abandonment abuse another baby anxiety attachment avoidant parent baby blues body image breastfeeding CBT changing habits cognitive behaviour therapy COVID-19 culture D-MER DBT EFFT EMDR exposure therapy grief IFS inner critic internal family systems therapy mental health Mindfulness new parent panic attacks parenting parenting worries perfectionism perinatal mental health postpartum postpartum depression postpartum loss pregnancy race self-care shame sleep substance use support therapy trauma validation window of tolerance
Many of us fall into the trap of personalization. This is a type of thinking pattern where we take responsibility and blame ourselves for something, irrespective of whether we had any control over the outcome. Consider the last time your partner was upset, your child had a meltdown, or your boss didn’t give you a… Continue reading Understanding why we personalize: How to move away from guilt and blame
Your way of coping with the world is to intellectualize. You use your logic to talk yourself out of feeling a certain way. You’re able to stay away from the vulnerabilities inside by managing the situation with reason, problem solving, logic, and planning. Sounds pretty good, right? What could go wrong? Intellectualizing feelings often means… Continue reading When you can’t logic your way out of feeling
Your world feels chaotic and there’s no escape. There are endless hours between naps, feedings and the constant fatigue. There is no one around to talk to and you feel overwhelmed and frustrated all the time. Having one more drink feels awful, but it gives you that escape you’ve been craving. Sound familiar? Whether you… Continue reading Drinking and Postpartum Depression
How are you feeling about going back to work? The past few months have been all about baby, and now you’re suddenly expected to balance work, childcare, and other needs. There’s no way this can go smoothly. If you’re among the many, returning back to work after maternity leave (or paternity leave) can be a… Continue reading 7 Tips for Parents Going Back to Work
It may seem that being overwhelmed is just a given. You’re up to your eyeballs in dirty diapers and wet burp clothes. You can’t remember the last time you had more than a few hours of rest. What even is breakfast? You run on a steady stream of coffee and fistfuls of cheerios. When you… Continue reading Postpartum Anxiety and Feelings of Overwhelm
The worst part of prenatal visits? Going to your healthcare provider’s office and stepping on that scale at Every. Single. Appointment. As if you need any reminder that your weight is increasing at an alarming rate. You know this. You feel huge. No other pregnant mom looks as big as you do. You shouldn’t have… Continue reading Struggling with body image during pregnancy
Why is it so hard to overcome shame? What keeps our shame cycle going?
If you’ve struggled with shame, you’re well aware how debilitating it can feel. It can take over and impact your actions, decisions and the ways in which you feel about yourself.
I hope this post will provide you some clarity in being with your shame.
#mentalhealth #shame #shamecycle #IFS #internalfamilysystems #therapy
One of the biggest aversions to attending postpartum therapy is shame. You feel ashamed that your emotions are messy. This isn’t like you. Normally, you’re calm and cool. But, suddenly your hormones are all over the place, your hair is a mess and you can’t remember the last time you showered. There hasn’t been a… Continue reading Shame and the postpartum experience
It’s normal to feel a bit nervous when you’re connecting with a new therapist especially when you’re starting trauma therapy. This is the person you intend to tell your vulnerable history, and pray that they know what to do with all that information. The idea of opening up to share your lowest times can be… Continue reading Starting trauma therapy? Tips to support those initial fears
If you are in your first few days of parenting, congratulations! Welcome to the club! 🙂 The newborn stage is exciting and petrifying. If you are a first time parent, you may be tested in ways that you’ve never dealt with previously. I hope the following tips will help you during these early days. The… Continue reading Little Known Ways to Surviving The Newborn Stage
Does the fear of abandonment push you to act in undesirable ways? How often do you jump through hoops to suit another person? Do you feel a constant pressure to do more and be more so that others are not upset with you? To cope with these fears, you may have learned to keep your… Continue reading The fear of abandonment: Why am I trying so hard?
If you have been searching for trauma therapy, chances are that you have come across the term “EMDR”. While there are many types of therapy that can address trauma, EMDR has become well known in the counselling world as being an excellent and fast option for processing difficult life events. But how do you know… Continue reading Considering trauma therapy? How to tell if EMDR is right for you
That first year with a baby is all about feeding, feeding and more feeding. For every parent, there is a time when he or she decides whether to breastfeed, exclusively pump, stick to formula, or use a combination approach. There are a variety of factors that push a parent towards one choice over the other.… Continue reading The pressures of breastfeeding
What has been your experience with grief? Have you gone through the process yourself? Do you feel overwhelmed when others experience loss? Working in the perinatal field, I am surrounded by parents who have survived loss. These experiences vary vastly from the endless cycles of hope and loss during IVF treatment, to processing a miscarriage,… Continue reading How to help someone who is grieving
If you have survived a traumatic experience, it’s natural that you are feeling worried about how to proceed. You may have many concerns running through your mind: How long will I feel this way? Am I supposed to seek treatment? Is it normal for me to feel like this? Whether it’s an unsettling birth experience,… Continue reading Should I be concerned about PTSD?
What is your experience with breastfeeding? Do you feel angry or tearful as soon as you start? Is there a sense of dread when you begin another pumping session? How intense is your anxiety during these moments? When it comes to nursing, there are many parents who enjoy the experience and feel it’s an opportunity… Continue reading What is happening with my mood?! D-MER and Breastfeeding
Sure, you and your partner have talked about having a child. In theory, it seemed fine. But now that your baby has arrived, it feels harder than you ever expected. It is exhausting trying to connect with this unresponsive baby. It feels like everytime you pick up your child, he or she knows to scream… Continue reading Support for the avoidant parent
For anyone who has survived postpartum depression, you know how painful and unsettling life felt after your baby arrived. During that first year, you are overwhelmed with feelings of irritability, helplessness, anger, rage, sadness, and anxiety (just to name a few). The fear of ever facing this experience again causes many parents to hesitate about… Continue reading Will I have postpartum depression again?
When it comes to postpartum mental health, many parents struggle to building a connection with their little ones. There may be feelings of resentment that our lives have changed. You may feel too tired to want to play or sing nurseries. Your anxiety feels too high for you to be comfortable spending time alone with… Continue reading Building a bond with your baby: Strategies to help when you struggle with postpartum mental health
“They’d be better off without me.” “I can’t do this. What am I doing here?” “How am I supposed to do this everyday for the rest of my life?” I hear sentences like these frequently in my work with postpartum parents. It is heartbreaking and I know that when someone gets to this place of… Continue reading “They’d be better off without me”: Suicide and Postpartum Mental Health
On Mother’s Day, we are bombarded with social media posts doting on all the maternal figures in our lives. While there is no denying that there are some fantastic mothers out there, not all of us feel lucky to have this type of positive influence. Many mothers do not feel confident enough to call themselves… Continue reading A Note for all “Mothers”
I feel like society normalizes feeling overwhelmed, insecure, and stressed as a new parent. While our society is more compassionate towards these vulnerabilities, there is much less acceptance when it comes to our anger. Postpartum rage is a common occurrence during the first year with a baby. It can show up as a symptom of… Continue reading Postpartum Rage: I am going to lose it!
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