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loving mother with anonymous son in floral shop

A Note for all “Mothers”

On Mother’s Day, we are bombarded with social media posts doting on all the maternal figures in our lives. While there is no denying that there are some fantastic mothers out there, not all of us feel lucky to have this type of positive influence. Many mothers do not feel confident enough to call themselvesContinue reading “A Note for all “Mothers””

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Postpartum Rage: I am going to lose it!

I feel like society normalizes feeling overwhelmed, insecure, and stressed as a new parent. While our society is more compassionate towards these vulnerabilities, there is much less acceptance when it comes to our anger. Postpartum rage is a common occurrence during the first year with a baby. It can show up as a symptom ofContinue reading “Postpartum Rage: I am going to lose it!”

What to do with baby blues. Kasi Shan Therapy. Online and in-person counselling in Kitchener, ON. Image courtesy of Canva.com

Working through the Baby Blues

Many postpartum parents can attest that the first two weeks after delivery can feel like a nightmare. With the numerous changes that a parent experiences (e.g. hormones, sleep patterns, feeding schedule, diaper changes, etc), those initial days are about surviving the storm. Unfortunately, for many of us, adapting to these new changes can feel likeContinue reading “Working through the Baby Blues”

Working with unwanted feelings

When I am feeling anxious, unhappy or generally lousy, I hate the idea of mindfully noticing these unwanted feelings. There is intense resistance to “sitting with” or accepting my emotions. During these low moments, I have zero understanding or time for my feelings. My only goal is to get rid of them. I imagine manyContinue reading “Working with unwanted feelings”

Understanding Birth Trauma

You’ve been patient, waited 9 months, and dealt with all of the aches, nausea and fatigue in order to get to your delivery date. You may have an ideal birth story in your mind; many of us do. Some parents imagine a specific atmosphere while delivering (e.g. support people around, delivering at home). Some parentsContinue reading “Understanding Birth Trauma”

Wanting to be a better parent

Every caregiver can appreciate the desire to be a better parent for their kids. We can also appreciate how this goal seems unachievable when we are snapping at our little ones after the third tantrum of the morning. The desire to be a better parent comes from good intentions; we want these tiny humans toContinue reading “Wanting to be a better parent”

Feeling stuck in trauma, therapy. Internal family systems therapy

Why am I feeling stuck in my trauma?

Even years after a traumatic experience, we can feel stuck in a place of emotional distress. In therapy, I noticed that many trauma survivors would struggle to find self-compassion. They would get caught in an endless loop of self-blame and resentment. Other clients were keen to begin therapy; however, they were easily overwhelmed once theyContinue reading “Why am I feeling stuck in my trauma?”

What causes mental health struggles?

When new clients come in for counselling, many present with resentment and anger for experiencing mental health struggles. Following any emotional upheaval, we search for clarity. We want to understand what causes mental health difficulties, and we want the fastest solution to make it all feel better. Since mental health impacts the whole family, caregiversContinue reading “What causes mental health struggles?”

new year's resolution

5 Tips to help keep your New Year’s resolutions

As we welcome a new year, some of us may be considering the endless battle with New Year’s resolutions. About 80% of people abandon their resolutions within the first few months of starting. We know this is not due to will power, but because it is hard to create new habits and change old patterns.Continue reading “5 Tips to help keep your New Year’s resolutions”

8 Tips to improve sleep troubles

When it comes to falling asleep, there are many people who can easily pass out as soon as their heads hits the pillow. This post is not for them. For the rest of the population, please know that it is normal to have sleep troubles at some point in your life. Some of us findContinue reading “8 Tips to improve sleep troubles”

5 Tips to help your mental health during the second wave

As the number of COVID-19 cases rise in the Kitchener-Waterloo region, the possibility of heading into another lock down becomes increasingly likely. This isn’t an easy time. We all miss our families, friends, activities, and having the freedom to do things without restrictions of physical distancing. However, none of us have a magic wand toContinue reading “5 Tips to help your mental health during the second wave”

Postpartum OCD: The Curse of Never-Ending Scary Thoughts

While postpartum depression and anxiety have become more widely-understood, there is still limited research about postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder. This mental health struggles occurs in approximately 1-10% of parents. Since postpartum OCD presents as excessive worrying and helplessness, it is commonly misdiagnosed as anxiety, or worse, it is dismissed as “normal worrying”. When you think ofContinue reading “Postpartum OCD: The Curse of Never-Ending Scary Thoughts”

Disenfranchised grief: What to do when others do not recognize your grief.

Disenfranchised Grief: When no one seems to understand your loss

I’ve been talking to many individuals lately who have experienced ectopic pregnancies, chemical pregnancies, and complicated deliveries. During all of these conversations, I noticed a theme of disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief refers to “the types of loss that are not so readily recognised or supported by society.” Grief therapist Lisa Zoll explains that this typeContinue reading “Disenfranchised Grief: When no one seems to understand your loss”

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Five Ways to Challenge Negative Thoughts

After writing my last post about common anxieties during the postpartum period, I wanted to provide some strategies to help challenge these negative thoughts. Irrespective of whether you have a mental health diagnosis or not, it’s easy to fall into unhealthy thinking styles when you feel vulnerable. I hope these five strategies can help youContinue reading “Five Ways to Challenge Negative Thoughts”

Anxious thoughts during postpartum

Common anxious thoughts during the postpartum year

Cognitive-behaviour therapy has taught us that there are certain themes to our anxious thoughts. These themes are referred to as “cognitive distortions” or “thought traps” in CBT lingo. Anxious thoughts can happen to any of us, irrespective of whether or not we have a clinically diagnosed mental health issue. More often, they tend to popContinue reading “Common anxious thoughts during the postpartum year”

Changing our relationship with our Inner Critic

When our inner critic shows up, it can be hard to talk it down or reason with it. This part of our personality can be fierce, harsh, argumentative and stubborn. This critical voice tends to be judgemental and demeaning. Internal Family Systems therapy has helped me change the way I view my own perfectionism, shame,Continue reading “Changing our relationship with our Inner Critic”

Preventing compassion fatigue: Simple ways to help family members struggling with their mental health

Living with someone who is suffering from a mental health problem can be challenging to say the least. Whether the individual is formally diagnosed or you’re noticing a shift in their moods, the ripple effect it has on the home is significant. One in five people are living with a mental health struggle, and withContinue reading “Preventing compassion fatigue: Simple ways to help family members struggling with their mental health”

What is Exposure Therapy?

Exposure therapy is a wonderful and challenging form of treatment that can improve phobias and anxieties. This treatment modality works off the assumption that, by slowly and continually facing a fearful situation, we become less scared. Gradual exposure involves creating a formal list of tasks that are completed in order to build confidence in facingContinue reading “What is Exposure Therapy?”

Unhappy relationship after a baby

Relationships are tested all the time when life throws curve balls. As much as we’d love for a new family member to bring us closer together, having a baby can actually worsen the sense of an unhappy relationship. Working in perinatal mental health, I hear a lot of parents talking about their relationship dissatisfaction. IContinue reading “Unhappy relationship after a baby”

Mindfulness exercises to practice today. Kasi Shan Therapy offers counselling in Kitchener, ON & online.

15 mindfulness exercises to try today

There are so many ways to incorporate mindfulness in to your daily life and one post doesn’t suffice. Mindfulness is a moment to moment awareness of what’s happening internally (your emotions and physical sensations) and externally (using your senses to note what you see, hear, smell, taste and touch). While the definition may sound complicated,Continue reading “15 mindfulness exercises to try today”

Validation to improve your relationship. Kasi Shan Therapy offers counselling services online and in Kitchener, ON.

Using validation to improve your relationship

When it comes to some challenging relationships, we all recognize that miscommunications and frustration seem endless. It feels like every conversation hits a roadblocks, and both you and the other person walk away feeling hurt, pissed off, and unheard. So how do we work through these blocks so that we can improve our relationship withContinue reading “Using validation to improve your relationship”

3 strategies to improve your parenting style: Communication

3 tips to improve your parenting style

How do you find your parenting style? Does it meet the standards you’d set out for yourself? Are there times where you look back and cringe, wishing things had gone differently? Are there moments where you’re proud of how you handled a tough tantrum? In the next few posts, I will be sharing some strategiesContinue reading “3 tips to improve your parenting style”

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